Take the Road Less Traveled

Take the Road Less Traveled 

For as long as I can remember people have been telling me that I walk to the beat of my own drum. It happened more frequently then not when I was younger. My friends and even their parents would comment on how I just didn’t care if I fit in or not, and for awhile I loved and fully embraced it. I’m sure my family and friends could tell you multiple stories of me doing crazy and weird things. Like the time I was at DQ with my family and some friends, and  I decided it was a great idea to pull the end of my dress over my head so everyone could see my underwear. Or the time in middle school I was obsessed with telling people how amazing my legs looked in my shorts and walking like I was on a runway. People change though, and I guess I kind of lost some of my spark to be the girl that didn’t fit into the mold. I couldn’t tell you exactly when I started to reign in the beat of my drum or why. Maybe it was around middle school, when I started high school, or even when a guy began to pay attention to me for the first time, but all I know is that now it’s sometimes hard for me to let people see every crazy part of me like I did when I was younger. Don’t get me wrong there are still a handful of people who see every piece of my heart, mind, and soul, who love me no matter how stubborn or quirky I get, but not nearly as many people see it as when I was younger. 

There is a big part of me that misses the confidence I once had when it came to not caring what other people thought of me. I never used to care if people thought the way I dressed was too out there or weird, or worried about what people might think if I said it out loud and I certainly never cared how many people liked my Instagram, or who retweeted my tweets. All these stupid things that worry me now are holding me back, and I think it’s about time that I change again. I know that it’s not going to be easy for me to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there like I did when I was younger, but I want to try. I am so tired of being caged in by my own insecurities or anxiety, and watching things pass by that I would have loved to experience. So starting now I’m going to try to start saying yes I can do this, and stop telling myself that I shouldn’t do something just because I’m afraid of what others might think or that I might mess up and make a mistake. I want to make my life, a life that I am proud to be living, and I hope that I get lost a time or two because if we didn’t make mistakes, we would never learn new things and evolve as people. I was named “Miss Off the Beaten Road” by my NCL class senior year, and it’s about time I start living by that name, so here’s a list of things that I want to accomplish this year as a person:

• Don't let my anxiety stop me from missing out on something that could be an amazing experience 
• Learn that it's okay to do things by myself, it doesn't make me a loner 
• Road trip by myself with the windows down and music blaring 
• Talk on the phone to strangers, stop making my mom do it for me 
• Push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable 
• Say yes more 
• Go out with my friends more 
• Go to the gym alone and actually work out 
• Don't be afraid to fall in love again 
• Put myself out there as much as I can when I get to FIDM 
• Apply to be apart of MODE Magazine @ FIDM 
• Just really do anything I set my mind to

“If you trust your rebel heart, ride it into battle, Don't be afraid, take the road less traveled”- Lauren Alaina

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